Throwing in the Towel (Figuratively and possibly Literally)

A fact that must be faced:  I have not been sparring much since September.  This was not how I envisioned the fall and winter going.  After the tournament, I knew I was going to be off for four weeks while we were travelling, and then I suspected that I wouldn't be going whole-hog during NaNoWriMo, but thought that in December I would start training pretty seriously for the next tournament, which is now just 24 days away.  And it just hasn't happened.

You see, my training it totally dependent on the availability of my babysitters.  My club offers four sparring nights a month and if I miss one, woe is me, and if I miss two, well, I doubt that I am going to be "bringing it", as they say, at the next tournament.  Especially if my opponents have been training hard for the five months since the last one. 

This was really bothering me until I decided that since there was nothing at all that I could do about it, I might as well stop worrying.  And by stop worrying I mean that I have accepted the fact that I probably won't perform well at the tournament.  I probably won't place.  Curses!  Curses!  I hate that.  I hate that I know that I'm not going to be at my best.  But there you have it.  And I'll still fight.  Of course I'll still fight.  Fighting is life!  I may be a lousy sparrer, but I'm not crazy.